Housework

When I lived in Michigan, I fell in with a group of other young mothers, who called themselves “crunchy mommies.” Being a crunchy mom was great! I breastfed Iliana until she self-weaned at 22 months. We all snuggled together in one bed, and Rob made her cloth diapers that we hung out on a line in the backyard.

I loved the crunchy, down-to-earth lifestyle, except for one thing: I had the worst time keeping a clean home. Most of the other moms in my group were stay-at-home mothers, and they said that they enjoyed housework. They felt like it was a gift they gave to their families.

I was teaching special education at a rural school, 20 minutes away, at that time. I was often inundated with paperwork and lesson plans, which I had previously been staying after school in order to complete. Now I hurried home to see Iliana. After cooking dinner, it was time to begin Iliana’s bedtime routine. I played with her, gave her a bath (usually a long one, which she loved), read to her, sang to her, then laid down until she fell asleep.

Then it was time for paperwork. And if I finished it soon enough, I actually got to spend time with Rob!

There was no slow-paced, passionate housekeeping. It was a constant rush, and as my situation at work became more stressful, less work got done. Minimalism and decluttering helped, but the reality was that our house was clean in the summer (especially when we started sailing!).

Iliana, back in the crunchy days!

When I moved to Texas, it was no better, no matter what size home we occupied. In fact, things got worse as my job down here got worse. Stress and housekeeping just don’t go together.

It did finally come together…When I quit teaching. Suddenly I had time to turn my house into a home. I followed Fly Lady’s baby steps, then settled into her weekly routine. My boat was getting decluttered, and I did a different small task each day of the week. My home was a calm, peaceful place. It got even better when we moved to the apartment, with its easy-to-clean laminate floors and lots of open space.

Homemaking was relaxing, and following Fly Lady’s routine helped me to bring order to my life as I recovered from the trauma I had experienced. However, I will always be a teacher, and it was only a matter of time before I was ready to go back to the classroom (and eventually become department lead). And this time I was determined to have the best of both worlds.

Here are some ways that I was able to accomplish this:

1. Prioritize and Set Boundaries with Work

The first thing that needed to be eliminated from my previous “routine,” was the time spent doing work after Iliana went to bed. I now leave work on time everyday. I have learned prioritize having materials ready for my students and having IEP paperwork done before the students’ meetings. If those things are not in place on Friday, for the next week, I do them at home on Sunday. Then I work down my to-do list during my conference periods at work. I have found that I work much more efficiently this way.

It can be done!

2. Outsource

I do not iron. Sure, Rob wears beautiful, button-down Land’s End shirts to work everyday, and yes, they get wrinkly. I let the dry cleaner handle the ironing, and I even pay $5 for them to pick up and drop off the shirts every week! One less thing to worry about.

When we lived in the apartment, we had a small RV laundry machine. If we fell behind on laundry, I had another bag that I would fill and leave for the cleaners on pick-up day. For a flat rate, they washed and folded everything in that bag.

We signed up for a pump-out service on our boat, so I never need to think about the holding tank. Every Tuesday, it gets pumped out while we are at work.

I order my groceries online and have them delivered every Saturday.

3. Have a Prepare-for-the-Week Day

Sunday is not a day of rest for me. It is a day where I lay the groundwork, so that I can rest in the evenings during the rest of the week.

On Sundays, I do all of Fly Lady’s tasks for the week. I give the boat a once-over cleaning (quick vacuum, change bedding, clean bathroom, take out garbage). I use the groceries that I had delivered, to prepare the meals for the week. (If I have a lot of work to do at home, I order Smart Ones for my lunches). I put my clothes together into outfits for the week and hang them in my closet in order. The goal is to have no errands to run or chores to do after work during the week.

4. Have Daily Routines

I used to get up VERY early and have a well-crafted morning routine that took two hours. I would go running, do yoga, meditate, do some reading, then make and eat breakfast. I don’t think I was ever able to stick with this routine for a week.

Now, I give myself an hour to make my celery juice, have some quiet time, prepare everyone’s breakfasts (the breakfast foods are all together, so preparation is easy), and not leave in a hurry.

In the evenings I wash the dishes (I am ashamed to admit that I use disposable dishes during the school year, so this is quick work!). The routines do not have to involve much, because I have prepared for the week on Sunday.

5. Make Self-Care a Part of the Routine

I have learned that self-care will happen, whether I plan for it or not. The planning just determines what the self-care will look like.

I can plan and go to yoga class every evening to clear my mind and manage stress, or I can ground myself with food by overeating and clear my mind with wine. I can plan and spend time reading and relaxing every evening, or I can rest in bed when I get sick from overexerting myself.

Martyrdom is not sustainable.

I hope that these ideas are helpful, and I would love to hear what you do to keep your sanity during busy times!