Iliana was born the day after the last day of school, so I decided to breastfeed her over the summer. It was a rough start, but with the help of the lactation consultant provided for free by the non-profit hospital where she was born, I was able to successfully feed her this way. In fact, it was so easy for me that I decided to not buy formula when I went back to work.
As Ili slept in a cradle next to our bed, so I could easily pick her up and feed her at night. When she outgrew the cradle, we had her sleep next to us in bed. Researching the safest ways to co-sleep, led us to Ask Dr. Sears, which happily had a forum. Here I learned about attachment parenting, which seemed very natural to us. Life was easier with Ili in a carrier, she took well to breastfeeding, and following her lead just seemed right.
The Dr. Sears forum led me to Mothering.com. The forum there led me to Michigan Natural Parenting. Here we learned about all things “crunchy” and supported each other through our choices with current research and informed (and respectful) debates. It wasn’t an all-or-nothing community. Some people only did one or two “crunchy” things, and some people did more. I experimented with some ideas and kept a few of them.
Rob made cloth diapers for Iliana, which saved us a lot of money and helped the environment. We made her baby food, and she self-weaned at 22 months. Ili was on 6 medications for GERD, and she was able to stop all of them after we started eating a low-glycemic diet (which is proven to help GERD).
When Iliana ended up in the hospital after having a series of live-virus vaccines, we knew to talk to her doctor about splitting up her next series, so that the live-virus shots were given one at a time (she doesn’t react to vaccines that are not live virus). This worked perfectly. She is fully vaccinated and did not have any reactions to the live-virus shots when they were given one at a time.
Sometimes on the MNP forum, we had discussions about current events and other issues not related to parenting. These, too were very respectful and informed, and I became much more educated and more understanding of other viewpoints, even if I still did not agree with them completely. Our group was very diverse, as far as political and religious views were concerned.
And the “crunchy” habits that people adopted were not divided along political lines. I had a friend who was very left-leaning, who selectively vaccinated. There were people with very conservative views, who also strived to create as little waste as possible. I inherited a huge collection of homemade cloth diapers from a friend with very conservative views! Most people extended breastfed, regardless of their political views.
It makes me sad when I see negative articles about attachment parenting, especially when they focus on what it is not. Yes, we would have been wise to wait a little longer before co-sleeping, but it is possible to attachment parent without co-sleeping at all. Different kids need different parenting styles, but the pendulum has definitely swung away from being child-centered. I think that following Iliana’s lead and making an effort to bond with her, are a lot of the reason she is doing so well now.
And it makes me really sad when natural parenting practices are politicized. Most recently, AAP has endorsed extended breastfeeding, and this has gotten tangled up with the reversal of Roe v. Wade. By saying that they support breastfeeding up to 2 years, they are not saying that everyone has to do it. Every parent has to make their choice, and the choice should not be dictated by political affiliation.
It was a prettier time, when ideas were just ideas, and we were free to explore them all, without worrying about what our “tribe” says we should do. Republicans need not drink only Pepsi, and Democrats need not drink only Coke. Let’s get back to thinking for ourselves again!
Happily Loco 